Never It Will Be The Same Again

Never It Will Be The Same Again 

What I came to miss has no name. I can only try to describe. As a young man it felt as though I perfectly mirrored the sky. When it rained, I rained. When it was grey, I was grey. And when the sun came out, I came out of myself as if I were shedding a skin and stepping into a new beautiful world : my whole chemistry, seasonally affective. And I paid much more attention to the sky than I do these days. There just seemed to be more sky. And its clouds passed through me and its rain was absorbed deep into my skin. And its snow settled on my heart. What I came to miss has no name. I can only try to describe. When a boy, I ran home over fields as it turned dark; my heart beating in my mouth after some almighty adventure. And the sky ran after me. And its clouds, like grey eagles, wings outstretched, clawed. And this was my fear of the impending night: what I felt within, turned inside out and mirrored in the sky. And mirrored in the sky. Turned inside out and mirrored in the sky. Turned inside out and mirrored in the sky. Turned inside out and mirrored in the sky.

 

(Words – GA Johnson)

Night Of The Hunter

Night Of The Hunter

It’s the night of the hunter
It’s the night of the long knives
It’s the night of the hunter
And you can justify all that you like
Sleep tight, this snowy night,
For Spring, you will never see again
Say goodbye to your awful wives
Bid farewell to your awful friends

I’m twenty steps from the jugular
I’m twenty steps from the death
I’m twenty steps from the funeral
I’m twenty steps from your last breath
The shadow falls on the abbatoir gates
As you leave with the stench on your hands
I am here with a cigarette bait
I am here to asphyxiate

It’s the night of the hunter
It’s the night of the long knives
It’s the night of the hunter
And you can justify all you like
The laugh you spew on the landscape
As you erase it of the gentle hare
Will be your last on this landscape
Will be your last anywhere

Matador, bear baiter, butcher, hare courser, value your life while you can

 

(Lyrics – GA Johnson)

On Edge

On Edge

This life winds me up too much
I am taut as a wire
And the pressure’s building up
I am up to the neck
I am cut to the quick
I am stuffed to the gills
I am sicker than sick

You think you know me
But you don’t know me
You get a version
You cast aspersions
My back is up
But you’d never know
I hide it well
It doesn’t show

This life winds me up too much
I am taut as a wire
And the pressure’s building up

I’m a pot on the boil
I’m a trap on the spring
I am pushed to the brink
I could pull out the pin

 

(Lyrics – GA Johnson)

Non-Fiction

Non-Fiction

I’ve got the snow on my side
I’ve got no doubts about that
And though this city grows wider
I always know where I’m at
I got your letter this morning
I know you mean what you say
And though the stations are closed down
I’ve got to get away

I’m somewhere off the compass
I’m somewhere lower than hell
And when you say you’re beyond this
I say, “I’ve been there as well”

 

(Lyrics – GA Johnson)

Part-Monster

Part-Monster

I produce too much of something
Not enough of something else
But the doctors cannot help me
With the puzzle of my health
And I’m tired of easy music
And I’m tired of pretty girls
And I’m tired of being tired
And I’m tired of being hurt

I am the soldier at the back
Who is burdened by his books
Though I stare into the mirror
It does not tell me how I look
So I’m shaving in the darkness
And I’m turning in my sleep
And I’m turning like a monster
With a dead man in his teeth

Oh, part-monster
Oh, part-monster
Oh, part-monster…

 

(Lyrics – GA Johnson)

Password

Password

My password is a dead aunt’s name –
A monument, a testament
My password is a dead aunt’s name –
A cenotaph, a shallow grave

I’m thirty one and fading fast
Forget the past, repeat the past
I’m thirty two and fading fast
I started last and I finished last

 

(Lyrics – GA Johnson)

Recovery Position

Recovery Position

Is it the shadow in my voice?
Oh, I can barely form a sigh
Is it the music that I make?
Is it the sadness in my eyes?
You put me in position
As it tells you in the book
But I’m a separate chapter
You cannot look it up

My mother had a crying boy
Hung up over the fire
I could not bear to see him
I would not meet his eye
I think that’s why I’m like this
The tears they never cease
And yet you never see them
I keep them all in me

I have broken into France
I have stolen into Spain
I’ve been thrown out of Italy
And I’ll be thrown out again
The Dutch never liked me much
And Germany the same
I poisoned half the western world
But it never bought me fame

 

(Lyrics – GA Johnson)

Saint Marie

Saint Marie 

Out of season, out of heart
I cross you off beneath the stars
Autumn leaves a nasty scar
And with the leaves, the heart departs
You’re off the map
You’ve left the book
I’m off my head and treading luck
And it’s too late to call you up
The heart migrates
It comes unstuck
I light a candle for Saint Marie
In the hope she never brings you back to me
I light a candle for Saint Marie
In the hope she never brings you back to me

 

(Lyrics – GA Johnson)

Saints Preserve Us

Saints Preserve Us

Kick out this notion that anything goes
You’re better off sticking to what you know
You’ve got the heart but you re missing the soul
You’ve got the wheel but you re losing control

Keep your hand on the rail if all else fails
‘Cos it’s a long way down and you re so frail
Your hands so cold and your face so pale
Keep your hand on the rail if all else fails

You’ve been living your life like you’re fixing to die
You’ve been living a lie but you never knew why

 

(Lyrics – GA Johnson)

Shot Through The Fog

Shot Through The Fog

Breaking Winter up by shooting numbers from the clock
The cat sleeps on the atlas in Alsace Lorraine,
Dreaming long grass and birds on the wire
I have memories no deeper than this glass
And some besides that stretch history twice

In a super 8 film colour haze,
A scratched nostalgia that runs through my cogs
Shot through the fog;
Time taking care of whatever I cared about

So you are lost somewhere in here –
Your body, a raft,spinning towards the falls
Your death claimed me too
There were two throats in the noose
But mine now swallows whiskey
Mine is not now bruised

The black mouth of this month,
Bruised lips, black ice,
Forms a sickly smile across London’s sky

 

(Words – GA Johnson)

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